Solution to females not playing D&D?

So, as we all know, females don't play D&D, so to keep things interesting, you might be interested in making a female character (or an elf, same thing). But my table came up with a clever alternative. Now we put the girdle of sex change in every game. That way, you can be a dude, playing a dude, disguised as not a dude.

A few gaming seshs in, and a few baja blasts later, my homie Troy playing as Crunk and me playing as Carl, but with the girdle of sex change, Carlotta, wrapped up an exciting adventure at the tavern where things got pretty spicy. But don't worry, it's no homo because I'm a dude, playing a dude, disguised as a not a dude.

Now, let's talk about the next level of no homo. Ever thought about those in-game weddings? Marrying your buddy's character could score some sweet loot and XP. So, I proposed to Troy's character, and boom, we're hitched in-game. But chill, it's all part of the strategy. Two bros, married in a fictional realm, maximizing stats—no homo here.

Then there's the classic camping scenario in Icewind Dale. Sharing a tent? Why not push the bedrolls together for warmth? It's just practical. Gotta maintain that body heat to survive the night, right? And if our characters decide to "practice" some intimate moves to prepare for succubus encounters, it's purely tactical because if you develop calluses in the right spots, you can't get your soul succed out.

Remember, if your homie can't look you in the eyes after kissing you, he aint your homie, he's homo.

And let's not forget the ultimate bro move: character fusion. Through a magical mishap, our characters merged into one being. Now, Troy and I control this super buff, super hot warrior. Sometimes, our shared consciousness has to let off some steam, but the fusion spell let us keep both sexes, so we can get freaky... with ourselves! After all, what's less homo than two dudes becoming one ultra-dude, out of a dude merged with a not dude?

So next time someone makes fun of you for playing a female (or an elf) remind them that it's not homo because you're just a dude playing as a dude whose disguised as not a dude.